ever wonder, what is life really all about? what is the point of all this pain. as humans all we want is happiness! we feel it crucial to enjoy ourselves & yes i belive this is the point to our existence but...without pain, without turmoil, without loss how can you really appreciate what you have? unfortunately we do lose what makes us happy at times & it is very hard to get back up or get over it.

i've been through what i consider a lot. obviously some people have got it much worse. through the exterior my life seems perfect. good job, fantastic family, security, beautiful home, beautiful car...yada yada yada. buuut people never know what's really going on. i'm at the point where i'd lose my car, i'd lose every material possesion but my hello kitty build-a-bear lol. to be happy. where i was at one point. i like to think that i was a big part of his life. i like to think that i was the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. that is what he would tell me. in essence, i'm giving it my all to regain my happiness that is with him. i know my flaws, pushy, stubborn, distrusting, bossy, impatient. i know who he is, he is a good honest man. & i don't know what got into me. i mean i can certainly justify why i have been so jealous of him. A) i didn't feel good about myself, B) he was working out & looking so hot C) he is so amazing that i know other women think he's just as amazing & i was scared of losing him. but i gotta get myself together & focus on myself & hope he focuses on himself as well. i'm keeping my faith strong in God & making myself a better person. at this point i can honestly say I know that we are forever that we will make it. because my faith is so strong in God & in us.

Labels: adrian, amazing, change, love, relationships, trust

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