lil panda express.

2 years eh

2011-07-15T19:26:00.000-07:00

WOW! Talk about not blogging for a while! It's been almost 2 years...I can't believe how time flew! Life is so different now. I'm 24 years old about to be 25 in a few months, an Assistant Branch Manager for Wells Fargo & a slave to my job! but I do have my fun on the weekends...I work hard & play hard! I've definitely learned who is my friend & who isn't as well as who to trust & who not to. Life is hard. Very hard. People just aren't made like they used to...they aren't nice. & thank God, i'm not so naive. Adrian, yeah he's still my ex & although we speak from time to time it's over. for 2 years I still had hope (pathetic right?) but I know that even though I still love him...it's not enough. I haven't found anybody with potential to be honest, nor am I looking for it. Seems sad maybe but yes i've been single 2 years. I've dated plenty, had my fun & adventures but there hasn't been anybody that really made me drop my guard...yeah my guard is way up there. Or perhaps now I don't care, i'm still deciding. Until then my sweet sweet blog. adieu...I really miss you & the life I had when we were besties. Til' next time!

Love, Johanna

i hate it when...

2009-08-12T11:45:00.000-07:00

I hate it when so much has happened & I haven't blogged in a while cause it's so hard to catch up. lol. & i still need to buy my lappytop!!! this is insane already! I need my apple laptop!!! soon i hope!

it's so wrong.

2009-08-04T14:47:00.000-07:00

i know i need to be hopeful. keep my faith & stuff but i NEED to hear from him. I need him to tell me that he misses me. that he loves me. that i should & can be hopeful. i'm so sad today...i was fine in the morning but then richard replied to my email just saying hey & stuff. then he was like oh hey it was nice to hear from you, say hey from time to time. & that broke my heart!

i don't know what to do. what to think. i'm definitely hitting the gym tonight! i need to get some stress off! i'm thinking of going to adrian's to drop off the presents i got for the kids. i wish he'd come with me to the gym. but i won't bother asking. he'd probably tell me no. but maybe i can see him...i just miss everything about him. i'm glad he doesn't feel what i feel. he's dealing with everything so well. those are guys for you. chill, relaxed & nothing phases them. wish i was a guy...i could not care.

l o v e

2009-08-03T14:26:00.000-07:00

i'm madly & deeply in love! not just with him, but with his family. they're so great to me. at first i didn't understand them because they are different than my family but that's great! it's great to have 2 different families! especially because they love me & my brother. what they say is true, 'you don't know what you have until you lose it.' but i plan on getting them back!

storytelling

2009-07-30T10:45:00.001-07:00

ever wonder, what is life really all about? what is the point of all this pain. as humans all we want is happiness! we feel it crucial to enjoy ourselves & yes i belive this is the point to our existence but...without pain, without turmoil, without loss how can you really appreciate what you have? unfortunately we do lose what makes us happy at times & it is very hard to get back up or get over it.

i've been through what i consider a lot. obviously some people have got it much worse. through the exterior my life seems perfect. good job, fantastic family, security, beautiful home, beautiful car...yada yada yada. buuut people never know what's really going on. i'm at the point where i'd lose my car, i'd lose every material possesion but my hello kitty build-a-bear lol. to be happy. where i was at one point. i like to think that i was a big part of his life. i like to think that i was the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. that is what he would tell me. in essence, i'm giving it my all to regain my happiness that is with him. i know my flaws, pushy, stubborn, distrusting, bossy, impatient. i know who he is, he is a good honest man. & i don't know what got into me. i mean i can certainly justify why i have been so jealous of him. A) i didn't feel good about myself, B) he was working out & looking so hot C) he is so amazing that i know other women think he's just as amazing & i was scared of losing him. but i gotta get myself together & focus on myself & hope he focuses on himself as well. i'm keeping my faith strong in God & making myself a better person. at this point i can honestly say I know that we are forever that we will make it. because my faith is so strong in God & in us.

pfft

2009-07-28T17:09:00.000-07:00

I know what to do. but even if i do it. even if i prove to him the world...i don't know what is up with him.

modern age novela

2009-07-28T11:15:00.000-07:00

I know absolutely nothing about guys. seriously. I don't. I wish I did. So everything I wanted would happen. I wish I knew how to get Adrian back...I don't & our situation is so complicated & he is so different than normal guys. But the only hope I have is that he loved me so much! I know he did, he has madly in love with me. So we can't be totally lost. I mean I know you can't switch that off like a light switch but like he says "i love you & always will but that doesn't change anything at this point" we have a lot of things that we need to change, both for ourselves & for our relationship. I have faith that it's not too late. Only God can decide that. Only God knows what will come our way & what will happen with us.

Need

2009-07-27T21:44:00.000-07:00

I miss & need my best friend. I miss him so much! & I wish I could call him up & at least have him as my best friend still but I have to keep strong & not bother him. He's much happier without me. & you know I'm very glad that my God has listened to my prayers on that. I want him to be happy. Of course I want him happy with me. But at least one of us is happy. I'm definitely not, I can't lie but I know that although I wanna call him & see him if I do that I'll push him further away. Not that I think we have a chance...it's all up to him I think.

loyalty counts

2009-07-25T09:46:00.000-07:00

So last night I did as planned; saw The Ugly Truth with Christie* & we ended up having some coffee afterwards at sbux & talked the night away well until till midnight. Then I took my galpal home.

One more addition to this story; [Christie* is an amazing friend! she has the biggest heart & i'm forever in debt to her for giving me the time & listening to me. when i'm happy when i'm sad. Even when i'm a bit crazy! haha I love you! She's definitely proven her loyalty.]

the ugly truth & the yumy truth.

2009-07-24T17:04:00.000-07:00

so tonight straight after work i'm going with my girl Christie* to dinner, drinks & a movie. What movie? 'The Ugly Truth' it looks sooo cute!!! hahaha! I can't wait! it's gonna be bomb! full of laughter!!! haha so that will entail, girl talk over dinner then girl talk over drinks. (there is a difference) yay!!!

TGIF!

2009-07-24T10:32:00.000-07:00

Today is Friday & a phenomenal day! From now on i'm determined to feel amazingly happy! I have great friends! & soon maybe a great lover. who? I have no clue but sooner or later i'll have a suiter until then i'm enjoying my single life! tonight i'm hitting the movies with my fav gal Christie* so it will consist of drinks, dinner & a the ugly truth! Thank you Lord for another day! & an amazing one at that!!!

Loneliest 4th of July.

2009-07-04T20:05:00.000-07:00

I'm in Arizona with family. & it's all so fun & dandy. Everyone is of course asking me about Adrian & I'm keeping the brightest smile saying oh he stayed home. But obviously that isn't the truth. I miss him so very much! I love him so much & he told me yesterday that he loves me & stuff but how can I believe that when I know that he has hung out with that bitch karina. I need something to just forget him. I want him out of my heart & mind. Lord please.

did I mention...VEGAS!

2009-07-03T11:30:00.000-07:00

all I gotta say is WOW! this is such a lovely way to start a holiday weekend.
am I being sarcastic? of course, I wouldn't be good ol' Joey without her sarcastic attitude. anyway...the reason why i'm in such a great mood is because well I found out a couple things...i think they're things that will make me definitely move on. haha, all i know is that I was right all along! who could prove me wrong. anyway enough on that subject.

I want to talk about my expected weekend :D
so I'm leaving for Arizona tomorrow(saturday) oh I hope it's fun! I know it will be. I bought these cute ass necklaces & these cute ass blouses. oh man oh man! I can't wait to flaunt them this weekend. & my boss is so great she gave me Monday off! So I don't come back until Monday night. I just want to relax...take deep breaths & clear my head. theeen, the following weekend my mom is supposed to go to vegas with her girls & my brother. SO i'll be home aloooone. Oh em gee! I can't wait for that! seriously I'm going to rest it up! & party of course.

& the next big thing this summer is August! VEGAS BABY VEGAS! oh it's gonna be a ton of fun! not like last time where my idiot X killed it for me. He was sooo boring! & all we did was effin argue it was like here we go. but right after that I was like I'm done with this & left him.

Anywho I can't wait for VEGAS! I already got my room & it's going to be insane!!! haha later bloggerdollz!

I feel like bashing his head in with a shovel...

2009-06-30T14:45:00.000-07:00

uuuh yeah pretty much! :]
I can't believe him! I know he's out with another girl! & not that I care because I want him back but because he's a damn liar! fuckkkk that! that pisses me off cause he's a damn hypocrite. but so be it. I'm so effin disgusted! >_<

[recap]

2009-06-29T16:52:00.000-07:00

ok...so here it goes.
i'm single. it's been a little over a month now but i havent had a chance to get it onto my blog...but we are indeed broken up. we spend a whole 2 & a half years together & it had both it's ups & downs. At the end we were different people. We wanted to have different things in life & well i know he's happier & so am I. One week after we ended he bought himself a motorcycle so his life seems to going in the direction he wants it to go. I'm hanging out. Working really hard & i know very soon I am going to get rewarded for it *wink wink* haha i have a little secret that i can't share just yet haha. I've tried talking to him but I guess he doesn't really want to, just weird cause he keeps telling me how much he loves me. Anywho what have I been doing on my spare time? hanging out with my friends. friends from work, old friends who I am ever so grateful to have back in my life & other friends who weren't really friends, more like lovers haha. i'm just keepin git cool. Everybody is a friend at the moment & no one is being taken seriously in that aspect; know what i'm saying. I'm trying to read more. haha but I think I need to start by purchasing the book i'm planning on reading.
Speaking of purchasing power...I will soon be a proud owner of a MacBook...I can hardly wait! I went to go check them out the other day with Adrian but I couldnt buy it...see i'm not an impulsive person so I like to take my time with buying things...especially if it's going to cost me more than $1,000. So my lovely cousin said he would take some time from his day & take to apple again so that he could help me out since he's a computer whiz! ooh I can't wait, i'm going to blog like crazy! hahaha
This is a new chapter in my life! & the man you see below is no longer in it. Only God Knows why he got him out of my way...but only good things can come from this i'm sure

Hai!

2009-06-06T15:24:00.000-07:00

Haha. I know nobody reads my blog but I still come back to it from time to time. I'm planning on buying a new laptop soon. What for...god I don't even know now. I don't myspace, facebook or anything. I have no social life & I feel like my relationship is going down the drain. Am I depressed, yes. Very. But yeah, I want to re-invent myself & my blog. I want to be happy & right now I'm not. At all. I'm starting by losing weight. Losing weight will make me happier. Will make me feel sexier, more confident, happier. I'll feel motivated. I'll do something. Not just let my life pass me by. Like it is now.

Wishing I had Internet

2008-12-26T10:54:00.000-08:00

I don't have Internet at work & I really wish I did so that I could blog & update my blog because I wanna
Make it different u know. For now I will try to update from my phone :[

a pic

2008-10-28T15:27:00.000-07:00

why can't I make time...

2008-10-28T15:17:00.000-07:00

sheesh, I have no idea why I can't make time for my blog...oh why oh why oh why!!!
i want to...i do i do i do. but i guess i just never have time.

but in recent news:
today is hubbies birthday & he loved his Madden 09 game & his Jerry Rice 49ers mitchell & ness jersey!!! retail at $300 ouch huh!
saturday we threw his birthday bash alongside my going away party @ V2O in Long Beach...it was perfect!!! really really a grand time.
didn't get home till about 4 and grabbed some McDonald's with Ernie & Christie afterwards at our place...fell asleep like at 5am...OMG! I have never ever done that...i slept in till like 2:30 hahahaha!

today

2008-09-24T08:35:00.001-07:00

today will be a better day!!!
I'm determined to be happy :]

mondo bad day!

2008-09-23T16:24:00.000-07:00

today...today has not been a good day at all.
yesterday I decided that I wasn't going to work with my mom because I had just so many things to do. I had a ton of laundry that I bad been putting off & I wanted to go to wamu to close out my account. but I did t mention it to her yesterday. I told her this morning & she got pissed!
long story short, she was super pissed. said I was irresponsible & that if it was a real job I'd be fired by now. but it's like dude I can't even do the things I gotta do with her because she doesn't get her side of things done! I can't go on, I'm stuck but she doesn't get it!!!
so she kept telling me I was conducting my life horribly & that my life was gonna end up crappy etc etc. she also was all I need to talk to about three things and you better make time. & that I was distancing myself blah blah blah.
she ruined my day, she made me depressed, made me cry & ever since then my day has d
fucking sucked!!!
just because I don't live my life that way she wants doesn't give her the right to ruin my life. why can't she just understand that it's MY life. I choose how to live it. how & when to do what. I'm going to do what makes me happy not what makes her happy! she's crazy!
sure I can guarantee you I won't be as successful as she is but at least I'll be happy, unlike her. maybe I'm doing it all wrong...but hey, is there even a way to do life?

nails did!

2008-09-12T18:45:00.000-07:00

I'm at the nail shop as I write this here blog. I gotta take advantage of every minute I got! I'm not even that
busy but with the hubby, bruda & mom I get all tied up, it's nuts. I'm so excited cause Monday we start the gym. that's it! it's done & over with I'm going to work out & I'm gonna like it! I have to at least get back to my old self. I just can't live like this, it's inhumane. but tonight I'm going to the movies & eating panda express. yumm oh!
tomorrow is Jeff's birthday party so we'll be there, man he's old as fuck!!! I'm so happy titi is throwing it for him. she's pretty awesome! he better be nice to her!
hah it tickles! asia lady you estop tickling me. Hahahaha
I'm just wrong!

a lot has gone on but it's stuff I don't quite feel like blogging about so I'll leave it at that & I'll bid you adieu!

lovin' this song.

2008-09-07T17:27:00.001-07:00

this song has got to be danced by my hubby & I at our magical wedding!

laughter & smiles

2008-09-07T16:03:00.000-07:00

this is what we should live by.
our lives would be so much richer.
so much happier.
so filled with laughter...

kung fu anyone?

2008-09-07T15:16:00.000-07:00

super cute...haiiii yahhh!
take that you cuppycake!

football sunday

2008-09-07T13:10:00.000-07:00

ahhh so much is going on...let me just update from last night to now...
so last night we went to Brenda & Ivan's wedding & it was beautiful!!! the location where the reception was held was like totally magical...it was the most prettiest place i've ever been to...wish i could get married there but a)it's a 2 year wait to book b)i bet it's hella expensive!!! oh well...i know we'll find our place & it will be ultra magical! i was so beyond tired last night though...me & the hubs were just so exhausted! but we slept in till about 11 today. and just now finished jack in the box breakfast. now the hubs is watching his football...he's a lil pissy cause the San Francisco 49ers are playing right now but they aren't airing it on our station...they're showing the cleveland game...i gotta get a move onto getting directv for the NFL ticket. or he's gonna go crazyyyy! his favorite team of allll time are the 49ers, i even made him a cutesy key for the house that is red and has the 49ers logo. so cute.
on another note...i'm all tore up. my eye hurts, my neck hurts & i feel like i might be getting sick. so we will see...so far i burned my hand sick last night trying to 'curl' my hair...dunno if i'll ever try that again... cause now i know i will have a permanent scar. i'm off to do sunday things...hopefully i can bathe mah dogs!
ciao<3

goodbye, but just for a lil while.

2008-08-22T23:26:00.000-07:00

so our friend Gerry is going to prison for 7 long years. it's devastating & shocking & undescribable. last night we hung out with him for the last time & it was awful. it was so sad. he started crying and so did adrian & I. he's one of adrian's best friends and now he's one of mine...sadly he won't be a part of our lives for i hope less than 7 years. we are going to miss him terribly. i don't even really wanna blog about it cause it gets me sad. but i thought i would. he's a great person with a huge heart. we'll be keeping him in our prayers. & we'll definitely see him in prison & when he is released safe & sound.
:]

here's a picture of our beloved friend!

happy birthday!

2008-08-08T10:56:00.000-07:00

happy birthday to monica!!! yay my sister in law! yay she's coming down from Arizona!

did somebody piss in yo cheerios?!

2008-08-07T08:30:00.000-07:00

lol. hahaha!
i'm eating yummy honey nut cheerios...they're ooberly delicious.
i'm getting ready for work & it's my hubs day off so he's still sleeping but hmmm i'm eating cheerios so i wanna watch TV...uh no he say's and grunts and grunts and grunts. sheesh now i can't enjoy my cheerios.
so as the saying goes 'did somebody piss in yo cheerios?!'

<3lilpandaexpress

if you think about it the night before, they become your nightmares!

2008-08-03T10:43:00.000-07:00

woke up about 30 mins ago, now I'm waiting for my mom in law to bring us breakfast. yum yum! dude but last night I was watching the secret with the hubs & Gerry & I kept thinking of what I wanted right...well, I wanna get married & buy a house. so I just kept thinking about it & envisioning it & I fell asleep. then I woke up in the middle of the night because I had had a nightmare! we got married in a church but then when the ceremony was over I was all alone. my mom was nowhere to be found & neither was Adrian! I was so sad. then a while past when I found Adrian & it was as if nothing had happened. it had been so long since the ceremony that I had forgotten if it ever happened at all...

trying to save...

2008-07-31T23:01:00.000-07:00

i'm trying to save $$$ for my future wedding. i wanna get married so bad but what's keeping us from it is money. we have a bit saved up but we need just a bit more...this is my last resort so i hope i have some luck with this...anything is helpful!!!

<3lilpandaexpress

Thank you for donating!

2008-07-31T22:48:00.000-07:00

Thank You sooo much for being extra sweet & donating to my wedding fund. My boyfriend & I are planning on getting married but were short a few $$$. So we decided to make a paypal account to see if we can raise the remaining bucks we need. Again, thank you for your helpful donation. I will be sure to post pictures of my wedding so you can all see what you made possible. God Bless!

<3Johanna & Adrian!

zZzZz

2008-07-30T23:38:00.001-07:00

i'm tired...i'm going mimis...
paypal neeeever emailed me that confirmation.
i hate you paypal. good night.
<3

donate

2008-07-30T22:53:00.000-07:00

i'm trying to set up paypal on my blog so people can donate $$$ to me.
i need to set up that account cause i need money to pay for my wedding.
people do it all the time right?!
i heard a lady did it to pay off her debt and she got like 10K!
i'll give it a try...=]
don't forget to donate on your way out.

<3

getting started...

2008-07-27T15:36:00.001-07:00

so i'm trying to finish up here on my blog.
i'm trying my hardest to get it to my liking...just so hard when i have absolutely nooo time at all.
with work, the hubs, cleaning, parents, siblings, friends...ugh...i have no time...
but i'm here on a sunday...trying.
but i'm done for now...off to clean!

put the lime in the coconut

2008-06-26T13:53:00.001-07:00

just ran 1 mile straight & did about 2 miles total plus 100 crunches!
I feel great now watching FNmtv.
its not so bad I guess.
katy perry was on it & she is awesome, purrty too. I'd give her a go if I liked qirls.
haha. <3
ever heard of TYGA??? I like him.
is he related to Travis from gym class heroes? Travis is bomb; I love GCH!
anyways now to tackle cleaning laundry and a shower plus lunchtime for *team pinks!

*team pinks .aka. Adrian & Joey.
_reason; last name is rositas translated to English it is pinks!!! cool last nae huh?! :]

Sent from my iPhone!

2008-06-25T13:59:00.001-07:00

us @ the dodger game against the white sox! they lost but we had so much fun! I love my hubs!!! bloggin' from my iPhone!

2008-06-23T18:19:00.003-07:00

my bruda is just so cute!!! he's just chillin watching the lakers game ... too and they lost!!! bloggin' from my iPhone!

2008-06-23T18:19:00.001-07:00

my bruda is just so cute!!! he's just chillin watching the lakers game ... too and they lost!!! bloggin' from my iPhone!

2008-06-23T18:00:00.001-07:00

my bruda is just so cute!!! he's just chillin watching the lakers game ... too and they lost!!! bloggin' from my iPhone!

2008-06-23T17:54:00.001-07:00

my bruda is just so cute!!! he's just chillin watching the lakers game ... too and they lost!!! bloggin' from my iPhone!

UNDER CONSTRUCTION!

2008-06-05T16:33:00.002-07:00

blog is getting remodeled so bare with me... I just cant find time to finish. Thank you!!!

fragments...

2008-05-26T14:41:00.000-07:00

haven't updated this thing in what seems like forever.
i have definitely abandoned my blog; i sorry.
this weekend was memorial day weekend & i had a blast.
yes, i'm still living with adrian & it's coming together =]
we even did our first costco/IKEA trip.
we bought groceries, utensils & lil what nots.
even our very own bamboo tree centerpiece.
we are now a family.
---
this friday we went to [the powwow] with richard, domo, reuben, christy, marco, jordan & val.
i got a lil drunk & had a hell of a time!
haha then saturday we watched the UFC fight with the boys & headed out to chili's for din din & drinks.
i was happy to talk to stephy that night too <3
then, sunday was maggie's birthday party so we headed out for a 5 yr old's party & had a blast!
today is now monday & thank memorial day for a jobless day.
tomorrow we have it off as well.
so this weekend i have played & relaxed...
later on i hope to see my bruda...i miss my booger!

on my own.

2008-05-04T22:41:00.000-07:00

so I have decided to leave my house & come stay at adrian's.
today was a really hard day...my life seems in limbo not just because i'm on my own but because I was just starting to work with my mom in real estate.
now, I don't know if we will be working together or not.
especially because I left without exactly talking to her about it, more like i yelled "i'm leaving!"
so tonight who knows what she will think or do when it becomes about 1am & i'm not home...
my main worry is my lil brother.
that is one of the reasons why I can't stand her, why I can't stand being there.
she is so mean to my brother.
& I know it's just because she's going through stuff in her life but she won't talk to me about it. she won't try to make it better & all she does is take it out on both me & my brother.
it's not fair & it's not right.
believe me if I could take custody of my bro, I would in a heartbeat.
but tonight...i'm tired & all I keep doing is praying for my lil boy...
I know the Lord will be there for him, will watch over him & protect him for me.
I have faith in Jesus Christ! He is my Lord & Savior & the almighty.

but woohoo for spending the night with my babyz!

Uuh idk

2008-05-02T13:30:00.000-07:00

why doesn't my mom like talking to me?... I don't think she really loves me. I don't know how we are going to work in real estate together... Makes me super sad.

layout.

2008-05-02T01:56:00.000-07:00

i am very much disliking my layout right now...
i don't know i'm just bored with it...i loved my old one.
but like a dumbass i deleted it! ugh!

nite

2008-04-30T00:40:00.000-07:00

today was pleasant, chill & tranquile.
the past couple days have been awful just because i've been super sick.
but i'm getting better now and i'm happy because i'm actually starting to work with my mom.
although, i still feel handicapped just because i'm barely getting the hang of it all.
but i know one thing, i love my babyz.
my boyfriend is amazing & the Lord puts different things in your life to steer you away but i know that it is just to test me & to have me not fall into temptation or anything like that....

i better rest...

pfft, wtvr

2008-04-27T01:37:00.000-07:00

ugh.
i hate this.
a lot.
i wish i was at coachella!!!
yeah...watching jack johnson, chromeo, & so many other awesome bands.
i'm sick...& i'm sick & tired of it.
i want to get away.
move to wherever and be away.
i really wish i worked at KROQ.
how cool is that job, get to go to cool ass shows!
get to go to coachella for the weekend!
man...i want to work there...too bad i can't now.
now i can't do anything.
i can't talk to my best friend, i can't be myself, i can't do anything...at least that's how i feel...i dunno.
i'm just tired of my life...i guess.

I am a realtor!

2008-04-24T23:14:00.000-07:00

I am a realtor.
for real.
yes, I have my license!
today I went with my mom(my real estate partner) to show my first client(nuria) some properties.
it went better than ever!
sure, I did more of the spectating just so I can learn & get more comfortable but man I had so much fun & I can't wait to be as professional as my mom.
then adrian tells me his friend's bf wants to sell his house in huntington beach.
it's been on the market for a year with absolutely no activity...
don't I got this shit handled!
the house is listed at $860,000...uh it's like one block away from the beach.
so yeah, it's pricey but for a reason, although we will definitely do a price reduction because of today's market.
man i'm mega stoaked!
they poured the concrete in our backyard & it's almost done!
I can't wait...this summer is gonna be awesome!
i'm gonna have a brand new backyard; new floor, pool, Barbeque, fire pit, & a fireplace!!!
man, life couldn't be betta!
too bad i'm sickies.
just started feeling it today & well I think I might be missing work now.

hmmmm

2008-04-15T23:43:00.001-07:00

oh.em.gee.

...!!!

adrian's bed

2008-04-12T22:28:00.001-07:00

i'm at adrian's house. I feel really tired, kind of depressed & blah. I am totally happy to be with my babyz but my mom is sad & I feel terrible not knowing what to do to help her out. tomorrow is sunday & I hope hope hope we can make it to church. I miss & need it! I think we forget about our faith way too often. we forget why were here, what we are to do & who we have to do it for. at least I know I do...pretty frequently. anyway...pic right there...my amor & I...he's awesome!

friday night

2008-04-12T02:51:00.001-07:00

as you know today was friday & I work at Wells Fargo bank. yes, it was packed! I was pretty busy all day. but today work was pretty good although I was a bit tired from the lack of sleep. when work was over I went to Adrian's and we chilled ate a bit and we watched the wedding singer & shooter. too bad I fell asleep during shooter, but I could hear it on our new surround system. oh-em-gee, it sounded fantastic! truly worth it! & we didn't even spend all too much.

since I got home I started fixing my blog so it's coming along...almost done. maybe some lil things here & there that I have to customize. but i'm a wee bit tired so nite nite my lil blog!

no sleep & A-ok

2008-04-11T11:47:00.000-07:00

I am beyond happy at my determination to lose weight. I have not fallen into temptation in almost a week...believe me that's a long time for me. I'm so weak status when it comes to food. But I really want to feel good, look cute & be happy with myself. Soon soon I will be where I want to be. & I'll feel healthy & be more confident. Yay! Go panda.

in other news I still can't believe I didnt sleep last night. I'm perfectly fine too. I feel a lil hyper actually. I don't know what's up with me...but yeah I'll spend tonight with my babyz! I love my boi!

whack!

2008-04-11T05:54:00.000-07:00

I haven't slept at all tonight. I don't know why. My sleep vanished. It is now 5:55am, the sun is rising & here I am...with no sleep. Work starts at 9am...woohoo!

twins

2008-04-11T05:52:00.003-07:00

my twin & I!

am I too young to get married?

2008-04-09T17:10:00.000-07:00

My co-workers keep telling me I'm too young to get married. I strongly disagree. Yes I'm young but I got a pretty alright head on my shoulders @ I've foundbthe man that was set in my path by the Lord. My mom says I'm too young to get married, but because of the man I'm about to marry she says she can't wait for us to start our lives together. He's older so that should help us out. Yes, I have to learn a lot & definitely try hard at our marriage but for him, for us I'm more than willing to. We don't have serious issues just dumb ass things that we kinds struggle with. I know that there is no one else in the world like him. No one who would love me & treat me like he does. I strongly believe that he is my soulmate, my best friend, my man! Someone else could easily love me but would never see me the way he does, with those precious heartfelt eyes.

That is why I adore him.
♥

yesterday;what a day

2008-04-02T10:50:00.000-07:00

yesterday was an adventurous day. Came to work for a virtual class to get my raise. Was here at 8:45 am till 11am. Then I headed to the gym, changed into my workout clothes. There I am waiting for Adrian to get there cause I'm supposed to wait for him to work out, when he calls me saying he got a flat on the 60. So there I go to rescue him cause I have AAA. So we get his car towed to his buddy Nelson's shop in La Mirada. Went to the tire shop to order 2 new tires. Then bought some weinersnschitzel & ate at my place. Got my stuff ready to go do my taxes at 3 pm. I COULDNT FIND MY W-2!!! So I came to work to print out a copy. Ended getting my taxes done. Refund: $56. It blows but at least I don't have to pay. Then we went to adrian's and chilled. He went to school. I watched a movie & cleaned. Then went to the library to get Adrian his study books for his big test on Saturday! While I was there I found two awesome books--> "fit for life not fat for life" & "the biggest loser" yes the book thatcstarted the show...I think... Anyway, yesterday was crazy & now I'm at work, on mah lunch & about to read my new book. Latta bloggers & blogettes<3

HeLp!

2008-03-10T22:38:00.000-07:00

couple things to talk about on here;
+ first off, I'm determined to lose this weight. Enough is enough! I want to go buy clothes. I want cute tops, jeans & bathing suits! It'll happen I just gotta stick to it...
+ one year anniversary. Friday march the 7th was our one year anniversary. I was so excited! We celebrated Saturday by getting take out from Downey Pizza Co. We watched movies, ate, and cuddled. It was perfect. No need for fancy dinners or nothin.
I got him a big picture frame that fits 9 pictures. I developed pictures of us and filled it up! He loved it! I got a PUPPY! His name is Bruiser & he's adorable. My mom doesn't want him at the house so he's staying at adrian's. But tonight he's with me.
+ my mom is driving me crazy. She hates my puppy. She has no patience with my brother. Its horrible, he's just a one year old baby. I understand her but its not right. And I feel so bad for my bro cause I just want him to ne happy. A happy lil boy is alls I wants.
+ then I'm also looking for a new job. I hate mine. I want a better position at a credit union or a good job at the city. I mean thats for now. Hopefully I can do real estate either with my mom or not.
+ I wanna move out. Tonight it has really been in my head. I want to be with Adrian so bad! And my mom is just going crazy. I feel bad to leave her but ugh I can't stand it. I also don't wanna leave my bro alone =[

HeLp?!

socal beat down!

2008-02-27T10:22:00.000-08:00

this girl is crazy/psycho/retarded!!! Her name is LittlePandaExpr on twitter. I changed mine to lilpandaexpress on twitter & she got pissed. She flipped & started writing all this crap about me on her blog. Then wrote me a message telling me in misinforming people which is totally bogus cause first of all she lives in lame ass Florida; second, I love pandas!!! & people who know me know that I love love love panda express so in essence I deserve that name & hey who the hell cares I mean does this girl have a life, at all. I'm telling you, if she were here and she threatened me personally or if I at least knew the bitch I'd straight up easily beat her ass!!! So listen hoe if you wanna get down, come down LA & I'll show you what a socal girl can do.

Here's her link http://twitter.com/LittlPandaExpr

Kthxbie

>_< lilpandaexpress!

musINK

2008-02-25T01:16:00.000-08:00

today, a lot happened. Woke up; went with Adrian to breakfast then headed off to musINK in costa mesa where I got to see correy miller & hannah aitchison. Neither of them did any work today so I was a bit bummed but this chick christina seemed cool and did some cool tats so she did my skull tat. It came out so cute. Soon I'll post pictures. Then we saw the used >_< yay. It was our first show <3. Then went to adrian's for a while. He helped me clean my tat and care for it. Came home to be told I was shitty daughter. Sucks real bad but I think my mom is right on certain aspects. I just want to enjoy what I have but well life isn't just enjoyment I guess. Its also extremely painful =/

runny noses

2008-02-19T00:09:00.000-08:00

Joshua (my lil bro) is soooper sick. He's got the flu and its just so sad.
Mom took him to the Dr. today and got medicine & stuff
hope he gets better. I'm doing homework. My throat hurts & yes I'm semi-sick.
I work and go to school tomorrow ugh but at least musink is this weekend.
I think we'll be going Sunday. We don't work plus the used is playing.
still having really told anyone about it but hopefully someone wants to go.
I hope hannah can do my tattoo. OMG imagine! How awesome!

<3

2008-02-15T21:11:00.000-08:00

@ chili's with my hubby. Gonna eat my favorite salad eva! I've already lost 7 lbs and soon I'll be saying I lost 40lbs woo bie!

a

2008-02-09T14:55:00.000-08:00

off in 5 wooo!
I love my babyz!

gRRR

2008-02-09T12:34:00.000-08:00

I hate hate the people I work with. They're dogs, hoes, annoying and definitely stupid!!! Ugh. Yes there are a few exceptions. I can't stand saturdays! I'm here bored all day cause its slow as fuck on Saturdays. My manager is fucking annoying. One of em is the best but val is just stupid. She doesn't own a house or anything she is just an idiot who gets drunk and dances like a veterana. Then Charlie... HA he swears he gets ass when you know he's the guy no one even wants to be friends with. Trust I know I went to high school with him and now sadly I work with him. I wasn't his friend the and I sure as hell ain't now. Then nadya, she just a nasty fat girl. She fucks guys just cause and she's not even fuckable. Everyone here talks shit about everyone! It sucks its nasty and its rude. I'm doing it cause A: I'm tired of them B: they're horrible people. I just wanna be home with Adrian where everythings nice =]

Sry this was just my chance to vent cause I don't talk to my co-workers cause we have nothing in common and two are nasty big mouthed, need to be praised chunts!

<3adieu

[cloverfield]

2008-01-18T20:21:00.000-08:00

eeeeek I'm waiting in line for cloverfield. Starts at 9pm. Man it better be good cause my babe & I have high hopes. I think I'm a lil hungee... I think I want some nachos to munch on. Mmm with some yummy jalapeños. Who's these girls behind me are so annoying. They're like freshmen. They are so loud and call everyone "son" haha. They keep trying to pick up and get numbers. That shit is wickity whack whack if you ask me. Oh man this wait is taking forever... ZzZzZz literally. Well I bid you adieu hope the movie is madness!!!

workin at the office

2008-01-03T14:35:00.001-08:00

so here i am working at the office with my adrian!
he's working and i'm being me...bored.
hahaha!
so lately i've been posting blogs from my iphone so i do apologize if they are short, mispelled, and above all boring since they have no pictures.
the thing is i can't upload pictures from my iphone...boooo!
but it's still the best phone in the friggin world!!!
but since i'm on my laptop i'm gonna post bunches of photos!!!

new year's eve with my babys♥

h a l l o w e e n ♥

rawr

the boys

new year's eve with my hubby & rich[dick]

2007-12-24T15:07:00.000-08:00

It's Christmas bitches. Woot woot. Normally under the circumstances I'm under Christmas would be once again ruined but this year I have my papas alongside me. My dad is a jerk and I told I'd go to bako on the 25th but now I dont even wanna go then. If I do go its for my sisters not for him. I loathe him right about now.
I'm at the nail shop waiting to get mine did. Adrian bought some scratchers so were hopping to get rich!!!
merry christmas everybody. See later!

rain drops

2007-12-17T17:19:00.000-08:00

Alright so my question is...why don't I have any friends??? What is up with me? Am I a bad friend? I don't think so...I think I'm nice, friendly, loving. Iuno what it is but honestly I can't say I dont have friends because I do. I have number one my man LOL my soulmate and he is more than my best friend... I've got the boys especially the ones were closest to, nelson, rich, damo, Reuben and all the others and the other girlies I have met along the way. They are all so cool and I'm content with life. This month, December, has been a rough one but luckily I had our Lord and savior to help me through it along with Adrian. If it wasn't for him I'd be a wreck. My close close co-worker, Cora passed away december 5th and it was so so hard. She was my work mom, she was awesome. Last night was the funeral and it was hard to be there. I miss her soo much but ok lucky to have met her and to be able to cherish our memories. She is now where we all want to be, in heaven. I know she is up there safe, happy, stress free with my grandma and uncle.

It's raining out and its cold. Christmas is in less than a week and I pray to be strong. Because Christmas is a hard hard for me my family and also by Adrian. But this time I'm lucky to have him.

Night night<3

I'm back

2007-12-11T17:55:00.001-08:00

well I'm at work and Ive been trying to post a pic but no luck so I guess next time. I miss blogging so I've decided to get back to it. So I'm taking all sorts of Pics to post on here but I gotta go. Toodles! =]

2007-12-11T17:55:00.000-08:00

ello mates!

2007-12-08T00:51:00.000-08:00

it sure feels like centuries since I've been here. Just getting back into blogging cause its my release. And I'm tired of writing on pieces of paper. I'm always finding these papers with sayings or drawings so now I'll keep all my thoughts in one place or rather, three... My cabeza, my sweetheart; Adrian & now ma blog.

=] <3

2007-03-01T19:57:00.000-08:00

whoa, i haven't been here in a while.
busy. yeah berry busy.
anywho...i'm a happy child.
very happy.
i like a boy.
who is very good for me.
just hope he likes me too.
=]
anywho...what's new?
not much.
my bro is growing.
my hair is awfully long.
snowboarding with artie & johnny saturday.
hmmm i wanna make it a movie friday tomorrow!
hmmm...my song rocks!
&&& i love myself mucho=]

2007-02-23T19:03:00.000-08:00

i'm exhausted.
but i'm so happy.
so happy.
my life will be back on track.
& best of all i have a nice fwiend name arielle!
i like her.
she's nice.
lol.
=]

lo0ok

2007-02-22T01:31:00.001-08:00

I get soo bored at work.
i'm gonna take tons of pics now lol...!!!

butt hurt joWe

2007-02-21T21:53:00.000-08:00

i cried...i think i'm a wittle better.
but i'm still kinda hurt.
hurt hurt.
i think i wanna tell him i like you.
oh just cause...i mean...why not?!

2007-02-18T12:54:00.000-08:00

i was reading my old posts on this thing & man was i a lunatic when i was wif him.
yes i was.
ups & downs & all arounds!
he made me feel so happy some days & distraught on others.
we did have our good run but i'm glad we've both moved on.
he really does need to be alone to figure himself out.
but he always did say, "if i figured myself out then i wouldn't be 'carl' anymore"
which is very true.
but i would've definitely loved to meet that person.
but i won't ever go back.

in better news.
today is my lazy day.
i am still in pj's cause i have been worn out.
work 6 days this week.
ugh.
& chris is fuckin annoying me day & night!
but friday i hung out with ari & joey & eddie & gilbert & angelica & jaregui & others.
went to pizzamania...it was nice.
haha. kinda cute if you ask me ;]
yes yes...i like a boy & it feels very refreshing.....
i haven't liked a new person in about a year.
so let's hope it's all good.
although this time around as much as i don't wanna...i'm gonna have a wall up.
my heart can't get broken.
it can't..it already has too many stitches from the past.
<3

if i leave...

2007-02-12T05:09:00.000-08:00

i sometimes think...
will anyone be at my funeral to say
how much they loved me?
how i changed their life.
will there?

2007-02-12T03:09:00.000-08:00

here_he_is.

he's absolutely perfect.
& not to sound selfish but he's just what i needed.
as always in my family.
when we have a death, we get a new baby.
sadly enough that has been the case.
in this case josh filled 3 deaths...metaphorically.
1. my grandma [r.i.p. july 13, 2006]
2. my stepfather...he is out of our lives.
3. carl.

2007-02-10T20:54:00.000-08:00

my lil bro bro is adorable!
soon i'll post pics...i'm just kinda lazy right now.
anywho...that's the newest news.
besides...i'm pretty happy...just not with myself.
but i'm gonna start workin out sooo...sooon i'll be good for my two-piece.
anywho...i didn't get incubus tickets...so sad.
but i'll be going to underoath/taking back sunday show in march.
so that'll be fuuuun!
& hopefully ari & i will go to saves the day/say anything in april!
man...these shows feel too far!

anywho, i'm out like a light...

2007-02-08T12:09:00.000-08:00

i am so happy.
so very happy.
i got rid of a bad thing.
& i got a couple GREAT things.
i miss my friends...
cause i'm oh so busy now.
but soon kids...we'll be out & about.
=]

lovely quote

2007-02-06T07:44:00.000-08:00

If God is the DJ
then life is the dance floor,
love is the rhythm,
and you are the music.
♥

[=

2007-02-05T19:25:00.001-08:00

very appropriate song.

oh fo shizzle

2007-02-05T11:15:00.000-08:00

how about...my lame lil bro aint here yet.
that lil suckker!
ugh...anywho.
work today. ew.
but i'm gonna see my daddy soooon & i'm sooo happy.
& well...yes i think that i now...LIKE HIM.
ugh...no bueno.
buuuuut. i don't think he likes me.
no no no.
wtvr.
gotta get ready!

i said, do it how you do it.

2007-02-01T20:09:00.000-08:00

from a scale of cool to awesome...
i'm the shit.
maaaan, i swear, i feel less stressed & more content with him no longer in my life!
i luuuuub it!
anywho...
tomorrow is guitar hero time with ari & jowe.
yay.
today...omg!
some idiot man was real cool with me but when he found out we were reporting his large withdrawal to the government he flipped...
fuuuck he like practically yelled at me.
fuuuck...ppl are fuckin gay.
i don't like ppl who yell at me.
i swear...i don't know why i ever took carl yelling @ me.
let me tell you...next bf i have...that foo aint yellin' at me.
uh uh.
no no no.
he's gonna treat me nicely like i deserve.
cause i'm a goshdarn good gf & a nice girl who deserves the berry best.
haha i said berry.
"now walk it out!"

ciao♥

im better off

2007-01-30T23:37:00.000-08:00

i'm better off without him.
that's all i can believe.
i'm much too good for him.
i have to believe that...i absolutely have to.
i know it's true.
it will take time.
but i'm strong enough.
many ppl have told me.
it must be true.
i can't let some pretty boy with no present and absolutely no future bring me down.
no. no. never.
=]

this frown will turn upside down i promise myself.

ha its over

2007-01-30T23:26:00.000-08:00

ha.
it's over.
for good.
forever.
for real.
fuuuck.
i'm dumb.
but i gotta learn from my mistakes.
right?
nothing else to do but that.
i just am praying for God to make me as strong as i can be.
cause a pain like this i've never felt.

nighties

2007-01-30T20:47:00.000-08:00

today was kind of a nice day.
it started off like wtvr.
but then got a txt from a friendly face...literally.
lol.
then he said some stuff that made me feel better about carl & i.
then work was a bore.
i relaly didn't like today or yesterday.
but then it got a lil better when i heard from him.
man...oh man.
anyway..then went to arielle's to eat lasagna & play guitar hero II.
ooh yeah!
i'm getting wayyy better.
so colchon & lito better watch out.
haha.
anywho.
i'm really tired & my back hurts.
& i gotta go downstairs to have my mom yell at me for nonsense.
man...i wish he could be here.
=/

random pics

2007-01-30T11:34:00.000-08:00

here are some random pictures...

the lobby at work!

caught jowe when he least expected it! BAM!

angelica, ari, & ashley...

i feel sad/sick/weird

2007-01-29T01:30:00.000-08:00

so like...tonight i came across this pic.
and like...the pic is just fine.
nothing out of the ordinary.
but i felt so grossed out.
maybe...i'm starting to think b/c he looked soo cute in the pic.
like..taken care of...he looked like he took care of himself more..not like now.
but...he didn't look happy.
idk...i'm fuuucked up!
anywho...i just wanna say i'm very sry for being mean.
i'm way to cruel about people i don't even know.
i call ppl ugly, beasts, etc.
& i think she truly is a nice girl.
i mean...she even forgave him for doing her totally wrong.
oh man...i'm so sry.

teeny tiny moments

2007-01-29T00:11:00.000-08:00

so the other day i washed my baby brothers new clothes...
look at how cute & teeny!

we didn't want them to shrink so...hang dry baby

the socks are what get me...teeny!

man...he needs to come already!

well today was nice.

2007-01-28T23:51:00.000-08:00

went to IHOP with ash, alyssa & JC then we went to best buy to buy my gym class heroes cd's & play guitar hero!
OMGZ! i need that flippin game.
i must have it.
so my new thing is to have someone buy it for me...
any takers?
then called up adrian & he came with us to see smokin aces.
OMG it was sooo gooood.
a definite must see!
then just came hom & assembled the baby's crib.
here are a couple pics from today!
&&& some of me being a dork.

buy me guitar hero II

i need glasses

i love the angle of this picture

josh ALMOST came

2007-01-26T11:37:00.000-08:00

so last night at around 1:30am my mom was having contractions like every 6 mins.
& we got everything ready to head out to the hospital & then the contractions stopped.
sooo po0op, he's not here yet.
but hopefully sooooon.
he's scheduled for valentinez, so like in 2 weeks...?
that's if he makes it.
omg! it's friggin late.
gotta get ready for work & shiiiiit.
damn, it's friday already...gonna be a busy day today.
ugh.

i got a lil bored

2007-01-25T20:58:00.000-08:00

.cute.cute.cute.

moooore photos

2007-01-23T00:03:00.000-08:00

.how.about.ash.&.i.are.adooooorable.

.again.we.come.from.a.cute.family.

.yes.ash.hit.me.&.i.was.on.the.phone.with.miguelito.

.unexpected.picture.

.she's.one.of.my.favorite.

.my.cell.is.a.cute.rectangle.

.i.was.dancing.to.nothing.

♥

emo

2007-01-22T23:46:00.000-08:00

tell me these two aren't the most emo ever!

i actually like em...

/kiss

whats new you ask?!

2007-01-21T23:33:00.000-08:00

welllllll....not much.
work.
school starts on the 29.
a lot of guys like me.
i still have not heard from the ass.
i miss arielle.
i hang out a lot with ash lately.
my mom is due any minute.
i'm super excited!
i just want my heart to be numb.
anywho...
here is a pic.
just 1 cause i'm la-la-lazy.
enjoi!

time to move on.

2007-01-18T01:17:00.000-08:00

time to move on baddy.
yeah...what can i say...i aint a rock.
i aint stayin in one place waitin around.
sry pal, you lost this...trust me.
your loss.
good night<3

coke addict.

2007-01-17T21:17:00.000-08:00

i'm fuckin dope.
& i love my new cam.
& i love to take pics.
& i'm newly addicted to coke.
yes, coca-cola.
i prefer pepsi...but i got coke in the casa.
hmmm...gonna go grab me some.

new pictures!

2007-01-16T22:09:00.000-08:00

heres a couple pics from yesterday & today.
yesterday I went to the snow with arielle & may & was purrty fun.
although ari lost her cell...yeah that blew.
& some ass found it too but wouldn't return it cause he's a deutsch...
...karma baby, karma...

don't I look cute in my beanie!

ha, silly girl freezin in the snow!

I love this girly.

i got bored...

the exact feelings.

2007-01-12T19:16:00.000-08:00

Now I know
That I can't make you stay
But where's your heart?
But where's your heart?
But where's your...

So many
Bright lights, they cast a shadow
But can I speak?
Well is it hard understanding
I'm incomplete
A life that's so demanding
I get so weak
A love that's so demanding
I can't speak

I am not afraid to keep on living
I am not afraid to walk this world alone
Honey if you stay, I'll be forgiven
Nothing you can say can stop me going home

I see you lying next to me
With words I thought I'd never speak
Awake and unafraid
Asleep or dead

-my chemical romance